No one runs in the Wanjohi family. My surname literally translates to, ‘of alcohol,’ which means that the only running being done at our family after parties was towards the counter or occasionally away from the bill. I exaggerate, but you get the gist.

A good number of Wanjohis live up to the name. One of my relatives would get smashed and end up in the same drainage duct every other time so they named it after him, “River Muchatha.” It was a day filled with equal parts pride and concern for the whole family. “I mean he’s drinking like a fish but hey, it’s a river with the family name flowing right through it! Wa-njohi. At least one thing runs in our family.

(Some names have been changed to protect the privacy of the individual)

Anyway, #SoberOctober
Ilianza na ka e-shot. There was no epiphany, no clouds parting, no dramatic music prior to my decision. I saw a SOBER OCTOBER e-shot and I thought to myself, ‘why not.’ It was that simple. Now, I’m not saying I’d been drinking every day prior to October 1^st, but let’s just say I’ve been on one 12-year long OctoberFest.

It started with the belly. All through my 20s I was skinny in a ‘somebody-get-in-in-touch-with-WFP’ kind of way. This belly snuck up on me like Jowi on Jackie. I did NOT see it coming and had no idea it’s coming loaded. It was the first sign of my flirtation with the bottle. One shitty friend wasn’t chilling with the index finger when she pointed out that pots don’t look great with skinny arms. To which I replied, “mfhsnernekstt.”

Then came the depressed mornings, irritability, anxiety, exhaustion, and drinking at home. Side note-when it stops being social, it becomes personal. Did I mention exhaustion? Fuck! the exhaustion! I hate that part. When you’re perpetually tired, it’s difficult to differentiate that from depression. It’s the slow erosion of verve for life and the things you like to do. It’s me looking at the snooze button and hitting it like it owes me money.

Suffice it to say that the best part of my short-span sobriety has been the heightened mental acuity, a semblance of focus and an overall lightness of body and mind. Doesn’t seem like a big deal until you realize that you’re creating with more space around the creativity and you now enjoy the little things you took for granted. To my short friend Francis Josiah Onimbo, I appreciate you.

Speaking of appreciation, some of my friends have also recently pointed out that I’ve lost weight and my skin looks much healthier. These observations have made me wonder where the extra skin goes to when you lose significant amounts of it. I’ve hoped it doesn’t go back to the fore. For those who get this, I’m sorry for that. I guess some of my mental dysfunctions are NOT alcohol-induced. They’re just unfortunate…

…as unfortunate as how much money I was wasting on booze each month. Just like time, money is a resource you can waste so easily if you’re not fully conscious of it. Since I popped my first bottle, I’ve probably drunk a million quails when they were in and a several acres of prime real estate somewhere around K1 Klub House. However, we live for the moment so I smile as I write this because I can afford a smile. See what I did there? Yes? No? Doesn’t even matter, my wallet is amused. My local isn’t. Point is, if you don’t do it for your liver, do it for the money.

Towards the end of this challenge, I’ve strongly felt that it’s easier to quit than to practice self-control. The true test is to be in the brothel and read a book instead, or meditate amidst the carnal callings in the periphery. That’s why I now free myself to choice while developing the fortitude to say no. To tell the body, stay. Be still. Get a bottle of still instead of the 2^nd shot. Isn’t this what the second shot at stuff is all about?

Thanks for all you who encouraged and supported me through this with your comments and reactions. Accountability partners are a key aspect of any challenge such as this one and that’s what you guys were for me. To those who tried to derail me by offering me booze, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will bill you.

Also, I’m officially running for president.